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There are just so many fairy tale film adaptations happening nowadays that adding another one seems like crazy talk. But adding another one we are.

Dorothy of Oz, an animated sequel to The Wizard of Oz, is coming soon to a theater near you. True, an Oz-sequel has already been done, 1985’s Return to Oz. It was quirky, it had spunk…and it fell just a *little bit short* of being good. But! Dorothy of Oz looks promising.

Dorothy of Oz Concept Art 1

She also looks like Lea Michele

So what’s the story about, and why does it have potential? Read the rest of this entry »

My mother is pretty much the most awesome human being ever. The worst thing about living in Việt Nam is being away from her. I keep coming back to one especially fond – and recent – memory of the two of us together.

It was during the last winter vacation I had, in December 2009. I was busy being super lazy; I was supposed to be researching for my thesis, but I’d had enough of obscure Finnish poems. So I hunkered down with a quilt and watched *the entirety* of the SyFy channel’s Merlin Series 1 marathon. That’s about ten straight hours of Merlin. My mom watched it with me, and we laughed a lot about how Merlin looks like a scared deer.

Merlin: Scardest Deer in the History of Ever

Like Bambi, but British.

Ah, Merlin. He is forever being too clumsy to live. He goes about banging into brooms, dropping vials of Important Potions, and stuttering every time he’s caught doing something Sneakily Magical. Happens every episode. I should know, I watched them all in a giant chunk. And when do you do something like that, patterns stick out to you. This sort of clumsiness doesn’t just happen in Merlin, it happens in *so many fantasy adaptations.* Why? Read the rest of this entry »

Because I live under a rock (this rock is called Ho Chi Minh City and it is very far away from Hollywood), I had no idea that a film version of Little Red Riding Hood is in the works. It’s called “Red Riding Hood” and it stars Amanda Seyfried.

Blog Reader: Great! Can’t wait!
Dae: Fiend, stay your excitement! I have *most sobering news.*
Blog Reader: Oh no! Whatever could it be?
Dae: Catherine Hardwicke is the director.

Yep. Twilight‘s director. So it should come as no surprise that the Wolf in this movie has been re-imagined as… a werewolf.

Twilight Movie Poster with Annoying Werewolf

If he shows up in this movie, I swear I'll have a stroke

But wait! There’s more! Read the rest of this entry »

Apparently, the *billions* of dollars earned by Tim Burton’s re-imagining of Alice in Wonderland is triggering something of a Renaissance for fairy-tale adaptations in Hollywood. A 3D, Zombie Apocalypse kind of Renaissance.

First off, a 3D Cinderella could be in the works. Disney just bought a screenplay – written by the adapter of “The Devil Wears Prada” – for a Cinderella remake. I would get upset about this, except for the fact that nothing could possibly be worse than Cinderella III: A Twist in Time.

Cinderella III: A Twist in Time

Time-Travelling Cinderella: Yes, Disney went there.

But wait! There’s more! Hansel and Gretel is also getting a 3D update! And here I might actually die, because the movie is set to be born under the all-watchful eye of…Michael Bay. Ya’ll, I deeply dislike Michael Bay. The man is a rather evil sexist, and I tend not to like rather evil sexists. What can I say? I used to be Collective Coordinator for my college’s Women’s Center. Being a sexist just ain’t cool, peeps.

But that aside, I shudder to think what Hansel and Gretel will be like as a “3D action-packed FX experience.” ::shudder:: Things can be interesting without explosions! I just know that I’m going to have nightmares about this. Hansel and Gretel meets every obsession our culture has. Vampires! Zombies! 3D FX! Explosions! Gretel washing a sports car in a bikini! APOCALYPSE!!!

Hansel and Gretel in 3D

This is the face of the apocalypse.

Am I over-reacting? Yes, but it’s what I do, and I like to play to my strengths.

August 2017
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Warning: this blog contains fairy tales (which may be unsuitable for grouches), a flying pig (which may be unsuitable for realists), and textual analysis (which may be unsuitable for chemists). You stand warned.

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