It looks like I’ve been living under a rock for a while, because I had no idea that Disney is going to be making a movie based on the classic Fairy Tale, Rapunzel

Here are the specs:

RAPUNZEL (Domestic Release Date: Christmas 2010, Disney Digital 3-D™)
Walt Disney Animation Studios
Directors: Glen Keane, Dean Wellins
Producer: Roy Conli

In this new telling of the classic fairy tale, Rapunzel, audiences will be transported to a stunning CG fantasy world complete with the iconic tower, an evil witch, a gallant hero and, of course, the mysterious girl with the long golden tresses. Expect adventure, heart, humor, and hair…lots of hair, when Rapunzel unleashes her locks in theaters for the 2010 holiday.

Okay. Let’s make a list, shall we? A list of:

Everything That Could Go Right:
1. Kristin Chenoweth will turn in a stunning performance as Rapunzel.
2. People will direct their attention towards fairy tales. And isn’t that always a good thing?
3. I will have an excuse to eat movie-theater popcorn.

Everything That Could Go Terribly, Horribly Wrong.
1. Disney could decide to, once again, make the fairy tale all about marrying the prince. They could sanitize it. They could forget the fact that Rapunzel gets pregnant outside of wedlock, that the Prince loses his sight, and they could, in short, just sugar-coat everything and remove all the meaning.
2. This could re-enforce Disney’s “Princess” myth. That mania that young girls have for pretending to be princesses. Let’s be real, people: people want to be Princesses because Princesses do absolutely nothing. Except look pretty. And that is our ideal. And that is scary.
3. This Princess focus would make no sense because, lest we forget, Rapunzel is a peasant.
4. We could get yet another two-dimensional witch character.
5. I could have a heart attack in the middle of the theater.

However! I will try to be positive! After all, there’s nothing wrong with a few pink gowns, is there?

See this corset? This is one pink corset!

"See this corset? This is one pink corset!

Oh dear….Lord help us all…

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Update:

According to Disney’s website as listed above, Disney is also preparing a contemporary retelling of The Frog Prince, set in New Orleans. Now that looks promising! Classic, original, and fun…all at the same time! Maybe there’s hope for them after all! Click here to access the page for “The Princess and the Frog.” And unlike its cousin “Rapunzel,” production is far enough along for the film to have its own official website. However, there’s not much there yet….

The Princess and the Frog

The Princess and the Frog

Interestingly, most of the content on the Princess and the Frog’s specs page (such as the interviews) have to do with the fact that this movie is being done with hand-drawn animation, old-school style. This is apparently very exciting for the animators, but I wish they’d focus on the actual story…

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